Respite

It was a little after 7 pm. I was going back home. I had to change trains as usual. I was lucky enough to get a (relatively) less crowded train for the first leg; so it couldn't have been stress. It is Mumbai; so it couldn't have been the weather either. My flu has also been cured, so it wasn't the fever. Yet, while waiting for my connecting train, on that crowded platform, in the absence of any wind, I shivered.

I was one with my sub-conscious a moment before that. My mind was doing what it's best at; when it is left to wander by itself. It was revelling in my near-past experiences. It reached an intense incidence that happened less than two weeks ago. The incidence that had left my ego hurt and years of trust broken. It triggered a chain reaction that was over in a few, but vehement seconds. A pain, that subsided in a matter of seconds, probably because it had been experienced before, more than once. A surge of confused anger towards the one who caused it, which again died, because something inside me said that it wasn't anybody's fault. It probably wasn't. An overwhelming sense of awareness, of losing my equanimity. A strong guilt, for losing my peaceful balance, which was why I shivered...... Finally, peaceful empathy.

It was in this state of peace that I was sub consciously searching for a familiar face, to share my compassion. In that sea of bodies. Somebody who could understand me. Somebody who was not closed inside his or her mind. Who could take a little time out of his or her busy schedule. Somebody who could converse with me. Not necessarily talk or listen, but somebody who could just share..... Somebody.... Anybody.....
Then I saw her.

The purest being in that place. The living example of selfless love. Innocent. Candid. Shy.
I had met her before, once, at that very place. I hoped that she would recognise me. She did. She acknowledged my presence and responded to me reaching out to her. She greeted me. The affection was definitely growing. Then I did something that I normally don't do to others. I ruffled her shiny hair. I went ahead and stroked her fair cheek and neck. I was hoping that she won't mind that, after all, she was too young to be self conscious of such public displays of affection. Her body language said that she liked it. That in this lonely world full of stress, she found that simple touch soothing. Her eyes closed in a kind of acceptance.

Her actions were the only means by which I could gather her thoughts, for she didn't speak my language. In fact, she couldn't speak at all. She was born with this impairment. Her kins here have the same "disability". But time and again she and her kins have taught me that words are not required to communicate the essential. That the most meaningful of all feelings can be conveyed by a simple touch. Sometimes a nudge. That is what she and her kins have used with me as a communication tool all these years. That is what I have used to befriend her. To strengthen my bonds with as many four legged "man's best friend"s as I can.

They always end up giving more affection than getting. Today was no different. Today a street dog feeding off leftovers at a platform of Kurla station gave me pure, expectationless love. Much more of it than what the sea of people could give me, even if I were a celebrity.

They experience many complex emotions that the "superior" humans do. They have their own way of expressing them. Whether it is a twist in the neck combined with raised eyebrows showing surprise at the comfort that we humans show at the presence of a new guest; or it is the grabbing of a human's arm with their teeth, lightly, and putting it across their belly, to announce their acceptance of friendship; it is all there.